Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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