Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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