1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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