I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize