He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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