Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize