He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize