Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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