Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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