wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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