tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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