There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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