Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Girls should come with a carfax report
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize