Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
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I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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