i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize