Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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