I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
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Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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