1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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