And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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