i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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