i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize