i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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