i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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