I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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