I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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