Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I smell like Dick and happiness
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