She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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