He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize