I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize