I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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