i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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