Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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