and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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