you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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