Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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