She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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