i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize