After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize