The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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