It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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