i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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