Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize