It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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