Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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