At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
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Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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