I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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