I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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