Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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