She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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