I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize